Ramblings on Death

I am going to die. One hour? Three weeks? Eight months? Sixty years? This mortal shell will crack. Death is a constant that grinds against all life on this earth. We will all die; yet it is such taboo to talk or think about for most people. I am a procrastinator; there is always time to put stuff off, but I cannot understand those who procrastinate or altogether blow off the reality that soon, very soon, we will die. There are many differing beliefs and hopes about what happens to us at death; most humans, even many non-religious people, believe in some form of an afterlife. Others say we will just cease to exist at death, like a flame blown out by the wind. Aristotle, on the concept of nothingness is quoted as saying, “Nothing is what rocks dream about." I had to laugh at myself when I first heard this, as I tried with my mind (something) to grasp this concept of nothing. But I soon sobered as I contempated simply not being. For me, as a self-aware being, that nothingness is one of the most terrifying thoughts I can possibly imagine. I would struggle relentlessly to stay alive; morals, society, other human life, even my children, would be instantly sacrificed if it meant delaying death by even an hour. If man is simply a physical being, you have to believe in nothingness at death; there cannot be an afterlife. This is so counter intuitive to thought, reason, and importantly for me, to justice. The 911 terrorists got away with it. The death row rapist and murderer got a free pass. Stalin and Hitler and all of the instigators of hate crimes against humanity for all time are let off the hook at death. And I applaud them. For there is no humanity, morals or justice; nothing matters, for nothing we are and to nothing we will be bound after this brief flicker of a life. There is absolutely no purpose. At death we do not “go to a better place” or any wishful rest in the cosmos, we don’t even go to a worse place, we simply come to an end. What do you live for? I see no point.

That is one of the most horrifying thoughts: nothingness and its implications. However, the most terrifying thing a soul can ever dwell upon is Hell. If God Is, and he is righteous and holy in nature as the Bible claims, then all that is not holy will not and cannot subsist with him. God, being in his very nature perfect, holy, righteous, and just, hates sin and will not overlook the guilty. And I am guilty. Ever since sin entered the world, and death through sin, there has been an infinite rift between God and man. Many people believe that this gap can be overcome by simply being more like God, namely being a better person (or at least doing more good than bad). I often compare myself to others… “I do some things that are wrong, but I am not nearly as bad as that guy.” But even if the sum of my thoughts (good = positive, bad = negative) is positive (which is an utterly false premise to begin with), and I am clearly more positive than those around me, I forget the rest of the equation. God is infinitely holy. The difference, infinity minus any quantifiable good that I could do, is still infinity. God’s righteous anger burns against all sin and it will be cast away from him forever, to bear the weight of an all-powerful God’s wrath. I have heard some joke that they would rather be in Hell than have to live with all the smiling preachers in the clouds. O if they only understood the eternal torment in soul and body, the weeping forever in the dark, and the complete lack of purpose, hope, or love that is the truth of Hell. God is the ultimate reality; all meaning, joy, and life is derived from him, and an existence utterly apart from him, suffering the wrath of his justice is terrible even to think about. Infinite anguish is the reality of death that we will all face, and the just consequence for my sin and distain of God.

But while God is a just and wrathful God, he is also a God of mercy and love. God saw fit to display his glory in such a way that his grace would be magnified for all eternity. And this is grace: that God took the weight of wrath and just punishment for my sin upon himself, absolving me completely, and placed upon me instead the joy of his glory and status of being his son. It is staggering to think that we in Christ are called the Sons of God. His Son is Christ, begotten from and so personal to the Father as to be one Being; and now we get to share in that intimacy. God is ours. Its sounds almost blasphemous, but in Christ God presents himself to us to dwell with us for all eternity and gives us all that he has. Jesus defines eternal life in a prayer to his Father in this way, “And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” Heaven is an intimate knowing of God, discovering his beauties forever. So often my apathy keeps me from cherishing this truth, my cares and desires in this life seem so far removed from such majestic transcendent thoughts. Realizing that the thin veil between this life and that can be torn at any time, anchors me to the glories of heaven, and puts perspective on this life and my coming death. Death holds no sting, no pain, no parting for me. This is the reality of death for the Christian. It ushers in the reality that I was made for and will find perfect satisfaction in forever. Nothing in the entire universe is so sweet. The Westminster Catechism tells us that the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. I would argue that those two ends are one in the same… my ultimate purpose is to glorify God by enjoying him forever. My satisfaction in God and the joy found in his gift of life to me, is how God receives glory in my life. And how can I not find joy and satisfaction in resting in him who has saved me from such a terrible death and given to me all things?

God is infinitely worthy of all praise and glory, and thus all beings will display his glory forever… either the glory of his wrath in Hell, or the glory of his grace in Heaven. Death will find us all… in which way will you display his glory when it does?