The Knot Hole

"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."

This famous quote reminds us that human nature is never content with what it is given. We always feel entitled to more stuff, especially if those around us have that stuff. Along with the first quote, the lesser known "A garden in hand is worth two through the knot hole," inspired me to write the following:

The grass is green through the knot hole gnarled
The blue eye shines to see
The distant hills with trees to climb
Hint of the unknown

The boy with back to wilderness of wonder
Sits and dreams all day
Of fun to be had adventures won
Beyond the wall that is his bounds

The young man falls as he tries again
To breach the warding wall
He laughs and leaps to attempt anew
To gain what was not given

The man with mingled swears and sweat
Slumps against the wall
He never leaves his place of pride
To wander through his woods

The old man sits with quiet tears
His strength is all but gone
Never finding the farther field
His legacy a squandered life

The bones are white in a world of green
By the knot hole in the wall
The garden swells alive with spring
Bounty enough for any boy

-Its a little silly, but the poem gave me an excuse to play with photoshop to create the knothole pic... kinda fun

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Lessons of a Spider

This summer, especially the last few weeks, has been quite bittersweet. It is a closing of a chapter and the opening of a new one. I am saying goodbye to old friends and routines, and looking forward to starting a new life. It is a period of transition.

Late Thursday night I returned from the Arkansas River valley where I have worked for the CSU engineering department for over three and a half years. I go down to the valley about every month to collect water samples and gather data sets for several projects... it is good work, I work long days, and have hours by myself to think.

At one of the wells I was sampling this trip, after I had set up the equipment and was waiting for the water levels to stabilize, I noticed a spider near the well casing, beginning to spin a web. I must have torn through its old web as I set up, and it was beginning to repair its tattered home. I probably watched it for 10 minutes, mesmerized by the speed and confidence with which she worked. It was beautiful. She spun with the sure knowledge of which lines went where, just how many anchor lines to secure the more delicate sticky strands, running back and forth in her delicate dance. The movements looked chaotic up close, like she was just throwing out random webs, like silly string from her body. Then I pulled my focus back and was amazed to see an intricate spiral web like you see in children's books. I was glad I was not a fly just then.

I went back to reading the well data and taking samples, careful not to disturb the new web, and thought about my life. The strands of what has been my home and what has bound me in Fort Collins over the last 6 years have been slowly cut or are being broken. My old web is being torn down. There is pain, but there is promise.

The anchor lines that hold my web still remain. The lines that Christ has drawn cannot be parted, and insure that whatever my new web looks like over the coming months and years, He will still be the cornerstone from which all strands spring. Also, I will always have many of the old ties that I have built to friends and family to lean on and find joy. My web is not being consumed in a fire, it is being pruned. Certain parts are being removed in order that other lines may be drawn there... other relationships, experiences, and joys that I cannot yet imagine.

Though I am experiencing many sad partings, I have hope that I will weave under the watchful care of Christ, a brighter and more intricate web to His glory. To live this life is to spin, and I pray I may knit a beautiful dance, confident in His upholding hand.

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God of the Living

I was recently reading through Matthew and I came across an interesting account where the Sadducees, who did not believe in the resurrection, try to trap Jesus in his words. Jesus' reply is quite simple yet profound... "And as for the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God: 'I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? He is not God of the dead, but of the living." And when the crowd heard it, they were astonished at his teaching. – Matthew 22:31-33

The Sadducees believed that only the Pentateuch was Holy Scripture given by God, and that it never spoke of the resurrection of the dead or affirmed an afterlife. Jesus shows the intrinsic logic of the resurrection from the account of Moses and the burning bush. God calls himself throughout the Pentateuch and in this account the 'God of Abraham, and the God of Issac, and the God of Jacob.' He says I AM their God, not I was their God.

God is the God of the living, and proves that his covenant promises to these men are still present tense. One does not call on witnesses who are dead, but those who can attest to the truth and validity of a claim. By calling himself the God of Abramham, Issac, and Jacob, He is calling them to the witness stand to prove his faithfulness. He is the God of the living.

This gives us hope, as children of the promise who have have not yet seen the full fulfillment of that promise in this life, that there are millions of saints who have gone before us that can proclaim the love, faithfulness, and provision of the Bridegroom to his bride. With those who are truly alive, and have shed this shell of death and disease, we can raise our voices and sing, “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” (1 Cor. 15:55)

God has ransomed us from death to life, to an eternity of vitality, joy, and glory. We will be resurrected because we are united to the Resurrection of Christ. So live for him, as He lives for us!

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My Great Prayer Warrior

"Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat,
but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers." - Luke 22:31-32

Jesus is praying for me. Think about that. The God of the universe, the Second Person of the Trinity, the Creator of all things is praying for me. Robert Murray McCheyne a 19th century Scottish minister and theologion wrote, "If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies. Yet distance makes no difference. He is praying for me.” What fear do we have with such an ally? What hope! What power!

However, the terrifying part of this passage to my fallen nature is that Jesus prays His will for us and not our own wills. If Jesus told me, "Matt, Satan has demanded to lay hold of you that he might tear you apart," I would expect him to say, "But I have prayed that Satan would not lay hold of you." Instead He says, "But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail." Instead of protecting us from evil and pain, Jesus prays for us through evil and pain.

At first this seems harsh, even maniacal, but on closer inspection the love and purposes of God can be seen in all their beauty. If Jesus simply protected us from all temptations and pain, I would never understand my need for Him and turn to Him as my hope. Also, he prays for my faith... He sees the long run when I can only see and fear the present. He prays for my trust in Him and my delight in Him through my trials, so that one day with him I will truly be free of all pain and suffering forever. That is true hope.

With that truth I can pray boldly for the things in my life: for my RUF internship, for support to come in, for all the trials in my life... and not have any fear. Because even if all those things I hope in and pray for fail, He is still by my side praying for me and abiding with me.

So what do we do with this knowledge? When we have come out of the fires of life, being burned in the refining fire, we can approach others in their pain, drawing along side them with the hope that Jesus is praying for them too. That His ways, though strange and hard at times, are good and that He is drawing us to something greater than our earthly comfort. Himself.

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At the End of the Day

If you have not read Timothy Keller's The Prodigal God you are missing a wonderful, clear look into the heart of the gospel. God is a lavish extravagant God who richly blesses his sons even as they both constantly run from him; one through his lustful passions and the other through his passionless works. Both sons want their father's riches without the father himself. Listen to these amazing words from Keller...

“The story of Jesus tells us that our root problem is not just failing in our obediance to God [not being good enough...] but in RELYING on our obedience [being really, really good] to save us. Therefore, the gospel is a ‘third way’– neither religion NOR irreligion. The religious person may say, “I am doing the right things that God commands” and the irreligious person may say, “I decide what is right and wrong for myself.” But both ways reject Jesus as Savior (though they may revere Him as ‘Example’ or ‘Helper’). Both ways are strategies for self-salvation– both actually keep control of their own lives."

Wow. That is my heart. I constantly position myself to maintain control of my life instead of trusting and resting in Christ. Christianity is not religious law nor gratuitous self-indulgence... it is a relationship betwean a Father and the children he loves. When we cut out that relationship to seek only the riches gained by that acceptance and love, we hamstring the gospel and destroy the very heart and soul of Christianity.

Last night I came across an old receipt from a few months ago on which I had scribbled a chorus and a few lines of verse for a song I never finished. I stayed up till 2 but I think I finished it the way I originally intended. The song is about a Dad who loves his wayward boys and pursues them to bring them back to himself... It is a poem about our prodigal God:

I’ve been running from home for so long
Pursuing all that I knew to be wrong
I stole as much as I could as I spit in His face
Despising His love I trampled His grace
Not wanting my Dad only wanting His things
Worldly pleasures to flaunt my own play at king

How can I ever repay what I cost
The shame and death of bearing my cross
But as I opened my mouth to beg as a slave
He silenced my plea My son’s returned from the grave
Go slaughter the calf and prepare a great feast
Bring robes for my boy from bondage released

At the end of the day
When I’ve been running away
I turn to see
That you’ve pursued me
To lift me up from my fall
To carry me to your all
Not in spite of my sin
But that you have sent Him
I feel your loving embrace
Your amazing grace!

I’ve been running at home for so long
Working as hard as I could to seem strong
Proving my life was not vain as I smiled for show
Obeying the rules I let my bitterness grow
Not wanting my Dad only wanting his things
My inheritance owed my kingdom to cling

How can I ever break free of my pride
So polished but rotting inside
I see grace all around but it kindles my hate
It’s not fair I explode as He patiently waits
I love you my son not for work in the field
I’ve given you all a free gift unsealed

At the end of the day
When I’ve been running away
I turn to see
That you’ve pursued me
To lift me up from my fall
To carry me to your all
Not in spite of my sin
But that you have sent Him
I feel your loving embrace
Your amazing grace!

My sons I’ll bring you home to my side
Though the ransom cost me my life
High heights nor deep depths can sunder my love
Though you constantly run I am always enough
Do not be afraid Daddy’s here to provide
With great joy for my boys I’ll always abide

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The Answer

What to do with a Wednesday in the mid 90's with sunny skies and 0% chance of rain? The answer: Tube the Poudre River!

A few friends and I enjoyed the cold mountain river, floating lazily... except when the rapids flipped us over rocks, and basked in the summer sun. It was a perfect afternoon. A perfect day to give glory to the Creator of such beauty.

Even a family of Amish on their way up to the mountains in their blue bus preached Christ to the onlookers. Jesus Christ is the answer... and when seasoned with tubing on a river, the result is quite good!

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Defining Ministry

Recently I have been thinking about the RUF philosophy of ministry, especially how it relates to the identity of RUF… and the Church for that matter. The principles that drive the ministry and define who we are should be Scripture, our justification, sanctification, and glorification. But so often our churches are known as “the church that has this program” or “the church that believes that eschatology” instead of being known as “the church that believes that Jesus came to ransom sinners to Himself.”

I am often asked, “So what is RUF; what sets it apart?” I usually stammer something about our reformed theology or our non-parachurch distinctives. How often do I mention Christ?! It pains me that I do not present Christ as my joy and treasure, and that RUF is about Christ. Period.

I think this failure comes from a fallen belief that Christ is not sufficient in himself. We must have distinctives above and beyond Him to have a good, viable ministry. I pray that I may be more like Paul, recognizing the folly of earthly wisdom and the power of Christ: “And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” – 1 Cor. 2:1-2

Christ is more than sufficient to provide for our every need - even my need to defend RUF to others. I can boldly proclaim my (and RUF’s) weakness, because our identity is not in how we look to others or our numbers or any other criteria. Rather, our power and identity is in the finished work of Christ. This may seem foolish to others, but the power of God is perfected in our weakness. “ For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.” – 1 Cor. 1:22-25

I pray that RUF will be known on campus as “that group who believes Jesus came to save sinners!”

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